Hi Samantha, I'm having a problem moving from the internet into an actual meet. The first time I did it was a disaster and the guy was nothing like I anticipated. He said I was better in the flesh but now I seem to get so nervous that I find any reason to back out. At the moment I have a couple and a single guy that I'd like to get together with so any helpful suggestions would be really appreciated.

I once recognised a fellow I had been speaking to online out and about one day was shocked to find that, whilst a great conversationalist in chat, couldn’t string a sentence together in real life. Was it really him I had been talking to? Yes, but not to be discouraged! There are simple things to make sure this doest happen to you! You must instant chat with this person. People are able to concoct amazing emails as they can sit and stew over the finer details. When it’s back and forth chatting you will see if they are witty off the bat. Ask for photos and once you are satisfied with that insist on viewing a webcam. Photos can be deceiving as we all know! Once you have done this, speak on the phone-once again some people are able to pull tricks out chatting on a computer that they can’t when on the phone. If they pass these strenuous tests with flying colours, then it may be time to consider a meet.

How do you think the best way to start a conversation with a women you have never met?

Hi always works well for me!It really is that easy. It’s not about what you say to begin with. The hard part is reading into the answer/reaction and the next step. If someone turns their back to you its best to assume they aren’t in a talking mood. Another thing to note is eye contact and whether you get a smile back or a snarling ‘I’m good’, followed by the back turn! What you follow up with if you get a positive sounding/looking reply can be anything. But it might be best to stick to something applicable to what you’re doing. In line at the bank? A simple eyebrow lift while cheekily mentioning the wait can start something. But be quick to follow up with something further. At a club? Ask what they think of the music-anything is going to sound like a pickup unless you’re genuine. And the worst that can happen? A polite smile and shuffle in the opposite direction. You tried, the next person may just chat right back. And there you have it. Convo begun, where it goes is up to you.

Just broken up with my girlfriend again it’s the second time and I want her back. She say I’m selfish and inconsiderate, but I give her everything I have how do I get her to change her mind about me?

No one can change her mind but you. But if she has made a decision it may be fruitless to even try. That said if you don’t try you may end up wondering what you missed so it may be worth giving it another shot and pleading your case. If she has forgiven you in the past there is a chance she may again, or she may have decided that if the break up is based on the same issue that it’s not worth all the hassle. If she thinks you are selfish and inconsiderate she must say why. And if you think your not tell her why and give examples. Communicating is the main ingredient to patching this up but at the same time actions can speak louder than words. If you’re saying you’re not selfish and in the same breath you gobble up the last of the chips she may be hesitant in believing you. Its small gestures that women read into and if you spent the whole relationship saying one thing but doing another it may be time to chalk it up to experience and move along. No harm in trying to win her back.